Thursday, April 20, 2006

How did we get started in LFA?

A few months after we started dating I couldn't resist during foreplay to kneel before her submissively and provide oral pleasure. Occasionally, I was cheeky enough to start kissing her feet. Over time I became more and more confident in offering footrubs and again I couldn't resist kissing her feet.

Of course she was curious and I just had to tell her that it really turned me on and that I enjoyed doing it. I felt very guilty and embarassed about it, not to mention my fear that she would reject me for not being a "real man."

I left open on my computer a few times hoping she see it, have a browse through it and bring up the subject, but she never noticed it.

I had to tell her there was a website I wanted to read out to her. We sat up in bed and I read to her from my laptop. I could see her face starting to light up.

We trialed it for a week and it went FANTASTIC! We were both so HAPPY. But then I got freaked out and started worrying too much about what might go wrong.

1) Since the relationship entails bringing more sexual energy into the relationship my wife complained that I was too interested in sex, that my whole life had become about sex, and that it's all I could think about. Yes it was true.

2) It I went a few days being teased without ejaculation I wasn't able to maintain a proper erection in order to give her satisfactory pleasure. I'm a healthy 29 year old man who normally has no problem, but once I became extremely submissive I just couldn't get it up and if I did, I'd have a premature ejaculation.

3) I noticed that many (although certainly not all) websites discussing female led marriage discuss cuckoldry. Once I discovered my own inability to please my wife and her disappointment I started to understand why. I know for certain that is a line I don't want to cross and I'm afraid that if we continued with a female led marriage, and my inability to maintain erection, I could easily end up getting excited by the idea and wanting to introduce her to it.

We decided to go back to our (bad)old 50/50


At 9:43 PM, Blogger oldbear said...

Hi Subhub, so far I totally agree with the logic of your train of thought. I eagerly await to see how you resolved this.

If you read my blog, you will see I told Lovey avbout my fetishes and femdom desires early on, and she was not interested. If she was, I would have had to insist on some limits like no outsiders, as you have pointed out the cuckold trap is easy to fall into.

At your age I think chastity/OD is a mistake--if the couple desires penetrative penis to vagina sex. The male at 29 can provide endless hard ons, certainly several a day. The hottest Femdom sex ever was the life of Maria and Martin of the now defunct Mariasdiary and martin was not restricted. their FA had no apparent L, but it worked for them. She could have had penetrative sex with him a half dozen times a day if she wanted to.

Now in some of us 40 ish guys it has to be rationed. I am just starting that phase. Control and OD makes more sense in that age.

Its all about blance, too few O equals short lasting male if untrained, too may O equals no desire to get it up. varies by age and from guy to guy. Jes tmy 2 cents, OB.

At 1:54 PM, Blogger Submissive Husband said...

Good blog...

My wife and I have this type of relationship for short stints (Weekends) it is not a full time life style.

I think it give me what I want, without getting so caught up in it that it goes to cockoldry...

At 3:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Subhub, hope this is useful:

I was once in a relationship with a dominant woman and had trouble with my erections.

It could have been that she made me so nervous, it could have been that I was turned on by the humiliation or dozens of other headgames.

But you know what it was? Zinc. I bought a big bag of sunflower seeds and a big bag of pumpkin seeds. I eat a handful of each every day and my dick is unstoppable (touch wood - ha!)

Once you leave the mainstream you can feel like none of the normal rules apply. But maybe the erection thing is just something dumb like nutrition or stress.

Thanks for the blog.

At 1:35 PM, Anonymous Devastating said...

Lots and lots of female-dominated relationships don't involve cuckoldry. Mine certainly doesn't.

As far as orgasm control/denial works differently for everyone. The key, if you enjoy it, is to experiment and see what works for your particular bodies & relationship, and not try to duplicate or emulate some "standard" thing that you find out there on the web.

You can get really mixed up trying to do things the right way.

At 11:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i want to be a submissive hubby to 25-28yrs old woman.i live in india.
desirous woman must write me at

At 11:52 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

i want to be a submissive hubby to 25-28yrs old woman.i live in india.
desirous woman must write me at

At 9:51 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

As men age, it's quite normal to experience changes in erectile function. Erections may take longer to develop, may not be as rigid or may require more direct stimulation to be achieved. Men may also notice that orgasms are less intense, the volume of ejaculate reduces and refractory period between erections increases. An occasional episode of erectile dysfunction happens to most men but they are not psychologically affected by it.

At 10:23 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I highly recomend all family, D/s life style is very happy and spice of your life.always respect wife and obey them.its not a shame.our wife we want to keep happy and help her all the way like a servant. same time dom wife also sexually satisfy their sub husband well. if we do ths way we can be happy and life will go her every small things. like wash dishes, clean house, wash rooms, do laundrying, help cooking, massage her body and feet , any small small help make our life happy and very interesting.I am follow all the wife some time humiliate me if i do wrong. that also interesting. even most of the time she slap me if i do wrong or not doing properly. that means she is trying to correct and teach dissipline.i am happy sub husband to my wife. so good luck of your journey.

At 7:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

am a submissive husband. I sometimes need a spanking, something that she has become very good at delivering. But more than that, I need to serve the one who loves me, to meet her needs as she meets mine.

One issue we encounter is that she is so completely acculturated to pleasing me. I work hard to draw her out, to get clarity from her on how best to meet her needs. I will do anything she asks me to.

At 12:04 AM, Blogger missingit said...

My wife knew I was submissive before I did.She noticed my arousal when performing oral sex. She reasearched femdom without me knowing and over the course of a year or so slowly trained me to service her.It started with mild role playing and soon I was earning a PHD in eating her out. I found myself Soon i was doing more housework and catering to her with long massages and prolonged worship.Afer sex one night she made me lick my cum out of her. I was so ashamed and turned on. After we had an arguement one night I found myself on my knees in front of her wearing her panties and begging permission to lick her ass.It was then she told me I was hers and made me admit it. We had a great marriage until it ended. I have been looking for it ever since.


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